Porter’s Fried Chicken (Maplewood)

I threw out a question to a couple of co-workers a few days ago.  I wanted to know if there were any good places to get fried chicken livers around the Brentwood area.  Instantly, their eyes lit up (they knew I was a bit of a foodie), and simultaneously exclaimed that Porter’s carried them and they have the best fried chicken around.  I definitely had to check this out, although, I was a bit skeptical.  I’ve had bad experiences before with what STL calls ‘the best.’  This is a city that thinks the stink pit of El Maguey is some of the best Mexican you can get in the city, and that claim couldn’t be farther from the truth.  Following the restaurant reviewer’s code, I decided to make multiple trips at different times, trying dishes across the board.  Here’s what was cooking:

On my first visit, I decided to go for what I was craving and found myself staring at a pound of chicken livers and a small side of potato salad.  A thin layer of breading coated each chunk of liver.  They were really nice with the crispy, peppery breading complementing the creamy livers quite well.  I grabbed a couple of tubs of hot sauce and proceeded to dunk away, finishing off the whole box.  Then, I dived into the potato salad, which was a sweet mustard blend with perfectly cooked potatoes and crisp touches of onion.  It wasn’t bad, but I wasn’t too keen on the sweetness of it.  I prefer a little more savory in my tuber salad.

The second visit was a trip down the river with catfish.  I spotted the catfish nuggets on the menu last time I was in.  I’m a huge fan of fried fish and the taste of catfish reminds me of Friday night’s during lent back in Central Illinois.  Just like the livers, it was a huge portion.  This was served with a roll(pre-packaged and not worth discussing), cole slaw (which a yelper had raved about) and mashed potatoes with gravy.  The catfish chunks were some of the best I had ever had.  Unfortunately, about midway through my meal, I bit into a scale from improper cleaning and later a bone.  It turned me off a little, and I cautiously finished off the rest of the fish.  The slaw was up next for tasting as I was curious to see why this was considered someone’s favorite.  It was a finely chopped blend of carrots, onions, and cabbage that suffers from the same sweetness the potato salad did.  The mashed potatoes were, also, quite unremarkable, and appeared to be an instant mix covered in a pre-packaged gravy.  These sides were a little disappointing.

Finally, I was on my third trip and this famous fried chicken was the obvious choice.  I got the 2 piece, taking it easy as this was my third trip that week with deep fried fare and my body was starting to feel it.  It came with the same sides as above, and since these were pretty unimpressive, I asked about getting another side.  I questioned my cashier on a few of the other sides and was told that they were all frozen goods and not made in house.  I wasn’t about to review something that I could do just as well at home, and stuck with the chicken getting a side of fries to fill me up.  I was served a wing and a thigh for my 2 pieces and each were blissfully greasy, moist, and crispy.  This was probably what I should have been eating the whole time and I can understand why people rave about it.  I’ll definitely be back to take a stab at some more, and possibly go for the spicy breading on my next visit.

That fried chicken was Porter’s saving grace.  It’s probably the only thing that I would go back for, getting just the chicken and letting them keep those shitty sides.  On the positive side, I never spent more than $7 on a meal there and was served a filling portion.  But, that’s probably because they save a whole bunch on frozen foods, pre-packaged sides, and sauces that come in packets.  There’s a bunch of flaws that Porter’s needs to deal with, however, the staff was nice, the prices  right, and the fried chicken delicious.  Porter’s will get my nod when it comes to chicken.  Just don’t expect too much out of the rest of the menu.

Links:

• http://www.yelp.com/biz/porters-fried-chicken-saint-louis
• http://www.porterschicken.com/
• http://www.riverfronttimes.com/bestof/2008/award/best-fried-chicken-582446/

Thanksgiving Duck (Bailey’s Range)

It’s November and one of my favorite holidays is on the horizon.  Thanksgiving is a holiday that was built for foodies as we get together with family, load our plates, and veg out together.  My family doesn’t get too creative with the spread and it’s usually just your run of the mill turkey, stuffing, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie.  So, to get my foodie fix, I have to venture out a little and see what type of fare some of the local eateries are offering up around this time of the season.  I was pleased to see, when doing a little burger research, that Bailey’s Range had a TG inspired burger named the Thanksgiving Duck.  Here’s what I thought:

Since the research had already been done, I walked into Range confident on what I was going to order without needing a menu.  However, being a curious guy, I picked up the two sided menu and flipped it over to give it glance.  Realizing that I was quite hungry and a burger alone might not do the trick, I decided on some fried pickles to start with.  This turned out to be one of the best and worst decisions I have ever made in my life.  They make the pickles in house and as the molten hot fried pickles were placed in front of me, you could smell how fresh these were and a waft of dill tickled my nostrils.  They were covered in a thick layer of golden beer batter and made a nice crunch when bitten it to.  They were quite possibly the best fried pickle that I have ever consumed.  The bad part of this decision was now in play.  With my proximity to Range, I knew I was going to find myself back again for the gluttonous dish.

the onions cooked in pumpkin ale were the highlight of this burger

I finished off my pickles just in time for the main event.  My burger choice, Thanksgiving Duck, was presented to me.  A perfectly grilled fresh ground duck patty lay on a golden bun.  It was topped with onions cooked in pumpkin ale and a plum bbq sauce.  LTO lay at the side with another pickle which I was glad to see.  I readied my Thanksgiving inspired burger, leaving the LTO on the side with the idea that this is how Dave Bailey intended me to enjoy his creation, and sampled my first bite.  The first thing that hit my tongue was the pumpkin spice that had been infused into the onions.  It was complemented by the sweet plum bbq sauce and finished with the rich flavor of duck.    I gobbled it up (see what I did there) realizing that this was probably one of my favorite burgers ever.  The flavor lingered in my mouth, making me crave another one.  Ridding myself of this feeling, I sank my teeth into the remaining pickle to cleanse my palate of the delicious duck burger.

Getting that craving yet for Thanksgiving dinner?  Well, you have options, and at Range you can quench that thirst with their aptly named duck burger.  While you’re there, don’t forget about those fried pickles and tell me they aren’t the best.  Don’t want to take my advice?  Well then FORK U and wait until the 22nd to get your TG fix.

The Hot Mess Food Challenge (The Dubliner)

Finish it in 30 minutes or less

Saint Louis has its fair share of food challenges, ranging from a 10lb pizza from Pointer’s Pizza to a five milkshake chug fest at Crown Candy.  When someone calls something a challenge, it usually means there’s a long list of failures and a very short list of people who have conquered the food feat.  I decided to try out one of these challenges, and test out why these damn things are so hard. The Dubliner gave me the opportunity to embarrass myself as I tested out their Hot Mess challenge.

Patrick Russell (right) and I before the challenge

 

looks forking delicious

The Hot Mess consists of 3 6 oz. burgers grilled to your desire smothered in swiss and irish cheddar.  Those locally raised beef patties are, then, sandwiched between a full pound reuben that has been sliced in half.  Accompanying this colossal sandwich are two fried pickles, resting as a garnish on the top with a pound of golden, thick-cut fries covering the rest of the plate.  To wash it all down, you’ll have to finish off a pint of Guinness and slug a shot of Jameson in the allotted 30 minutes.  All this just for your picture on a ‘Wall of Shame’ and a Hot Mess t-shirt.

I scheduled my challenge in the afternoon at 2pm on a Friday.  My prep consisted of a fiber filled diet the previous day, attempting to stretch my stomach and clean myself out.  I got a good night’s sleep and awoke the next morning pretty anxious.  I was about to consume about 5 lbs of food that day, and decided to forego any breakfast, settling on a large americano from the coffee shop down the street.  2pm slowly rolled around and I was starving.  I posted myself up to the bar at the Dubliner and was greeted by 6 year owner, Patrick Russell.  He was cool and collected and had the face of a man who rarely saw defeat when it came to this food challenge.  I ordered my Hot Mess up with my burgers medium-rare, unaware of about what I had just got myself into.

surveying my meal

 

After a 15 minute wait, a ridiculous tower of food was heading my way.  It sat in front of me, and I instantly started to focus and planned my strategy.  A shot of whiskey and a pint of Guinness were placed next to this enormous sandwich.  In a flash, I knew what to do first.  I picked up the shot of whiskey and slammed it back with Patrick starting my 30 min clock at the same time.  Next, I tackled the beef patties, removing the wooden skewers and throwing them to the side.  I dug my fork deep into the perfectly cooked burgers, dispatching them very quickly.  Then, the smaller half of the reuben stood in my way and I devoured it without delay.

might as well start with a shot

The plate looked quite a bit less daunting at that point, and I started in on the larger half of the reuben, plowing into the corned beef.  I was making good time and had a solid pace going.  All of the sudden the corned beef became my nemesis, and trying to chew it became very difficult.  Each bite took me more and more time as I began to struggle with every swallow.

 

halfway point

 

 

 

The halfway point was arriving and I still had a massive meal ahead of me.  Staring at the fried pickles, I realized that I was going to need something to break up the monotonous nature of the chewy deli meat.  The pickles were working fabulously, and I finished off the rest of the rest of the corned beef leaving some of the bread for later.

might as well down the Guinness

I was at the 6 minute mark and a full pound of fries lay before me with the pint of Guinness staring me down as well.  I asked for a little assistance with some ketchup from the wonderful photographer I brought along to document my adventure.  Sara expedited the red food lube onto my plate as precious seconds wasted away.  I dipped my first fry and proceeded to stuff it in my mouth and swallow it down.  I had flirted with vomiting a few times during this challenge, and this time my body let out its last warning, telling me to slow the fuck down.  It was at this moment that I knew that it wasn’t going to be my day as I stared down at the mountain of fries with my fingers together in a look of defeat.  I gave it my best and battled to the end, washing each fried potato down with gulps of thick Guinness.  Finally, with about 3/4 of the fries still left on my plate, the timer went off, signaling my defeat.

I stood up, gave my plate a glance, and collapsed to the floor.  The feeling was incredibly uncomfortable, and a small Hot Mess baby bulged my belly.  Someone had brought in a dog, who undoubtedly sensed my discomfort, and licked my face.  I felt a little deflated because I didn’t win, but I couldn’t imagine how much worse it would have felt physically if I had actually choked down the remaining fries.  I stood up after a couple of minutes on the ground, and grabbed my last half of Guinness, sipping it at the bar.

i failed by this much

 

Stuffed Vegetarian Green Peppers

I’m a big fan of stuffing food full of food.  Flavors marry, and things stay incredibly moist using this method.  Peppers make one of my favorite vessel and there aren’t too many peppers you can’t stuff.  From mild bell peppers to spicy jalapenos, you can cram anything from cheese to rice in these edible containers, making appetizers, entrees, and desserts.  Ok so, desserts with peppers, may take some creative culinary crafting, but it can be done.  I didn’t go that route with today’s dish, however, going with the ever-so-popular stuffed green bell pepper.  Here’s some images to get your imagination running:

Cutting board action!

It all starts out with mincing 2 cloves of garlic and chopping a 1/2 cup of onions, throwing them into a frying pan over medium heat with two tablespoons of olive oil. As those begin to sizzle, dice 1
1/2 cups of eggplant and a 1/2 cup of portobello mushrooms, adding them to the browning garlic and onions. Stir every 2 minutes allowing the medley to cook down and toss 2 tablespoons of curry powder to the mix. As this is cooking down, preheat your oven to 375 and slice the tops of your 3 medium sized green peppers off, removing the seeds. Add 2 cups of cooked brown rice to the frying pan (i suggest making it easy, using Trader Joe’s Frozen Brown Rice). Stir in a 1/4 cup of soy sauce, and stir for about 2 minutes to coat the rice and veggies. Finally stuff those peppers, using a spoon, and top with panko bread crumbs.

Ready for the oven, placed on a cookie sheet, slide those stuffed peppers into the oven and allow to roast for 30-40 minutes. Once the panko is slightly browned, the peppers are ready to be plated. Allow 5-10 minutes to cool, and enjoy.

Chicken Pot Pie Bites (Trader Joe’s)

$4.99

Looking for unique appetizers to entertain some guests?  Trader Joe’s is chock full of interesting party provisions sure to impress guests from crab rangoon wontons to feta and onion pastry puff bites.  Since they come from TJ’s you’re never going to pay too much to put a smile on the face of your party goers.  I recently took a peek into their freezer full of quick and easy appetizer options to find that they now offer one of my favorite comfort foods in bite sized fashion.  Chicken pot pie gets hit with the shrink-ray and packaged into 12 tiny pies, conveniently named:  Chicken Pot Pie Bites.  Here’s what I thought about this new noche from Trader Joe’s:

My favorite element of a good chicken pot pie is the flaky crust that adds that palate pleasing texture within all of the hot medley of chicken and veggies.  So, when I found these miniature pot pies at Trader Joe’s, I was more than excited that each bite would be that combination of everything that I love.  I got the oven going, placing each frozen puny pie on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper.  They made their way into their cooking device and I peered at the box just to see how long I’d have to wait.  Yikes!  35-45 minutes?  Good thing I didn’t have a hoard of hungry guests waiting for these.  Time elapsed and the golden brown pot pies were ready to get out of the sweltering heat.  They were extremely hot and smelled of fresh cooked pastry and chicken noodle soup.  I gave them a few minutes to cool off, but not the 5-10 minutes recommended, as there was no way I could wait any longer.  I snagged the first appetizer off of its serving plate and carefully sank my teeth into the steaming hot pie.  The buttery crust mixed with the creamy mix of carrots, peas and chicken in a most magnificent way.  These were ridiculously good!  I continued to pop one after another pie into my mouth never yielding to the fact that I was probably jamming down my daily amount of calories in one sitting.  I didn’t care, and finished off the 12th and final pie, lounging back in my seat ready to have to loosen a belt buckle.

These pot pie bites are not the thing you should ever throw in if you are hearing complaints from hungry guests.  They’ll probably just leave before they ever finish baking.  Their loss if they do.  These are going to be a hit a just about any party where folks aren’t watching their weight.  If they are and miss out, well then, FORK them.

J. Spain’s Waffles and Wings (Downtown STL)

J. Spain’s is new restaurant concept occupying the northwest corner of 19th and Washington Ave. a little off of the beaten path away from the hustle and bustle of downtown Saint Louis.  When I entered, I was greeted with gorgeous interior, not common to the chicken and waffle niche.  Sleek wooden tables were organized well with some comfy booth seating lining the walls.  I chose to forego the latter, posting myself up at the bar where I typically tend to seat myself as I grill the bartender on the history of the joint.  Although there is a bar, the presence of alcohol and a bartender were void.  I guess a beer to wash down my wings and waffles were out of the question.  After a couple of minutes seated at the bar I was greeted by a warm smile and my order was collected.  I left my the decision up to my server on what to serve me and this is how it went:

Served up on one plate were six jumbo breaded wings resting on a blueberry waffle topped with strawberries and whipped salted butter. An over-easy egg sat perfectly fried on a seperate plate dressed with a sprig of parsley. They gave me two sides to which to dip my wings: Apricot Peach and Sweet and Spicy. The plump, juicy wings were some of the best I had ever had and one even squirted a little juice in my direction. The sweet and savory combination of the chicken and the sauces was quite exceptional with my favorite being the apricot peach highlighted by the bite of cilantro. Going back and forth between the waffles and the wings made for a enjoyable dining experience. This was my first run at chicken and waffles, and if there’s more inspired versions of this southern classic, count me in.

So, folks, give me some more! Where the FORK do U go for chicken and waffles?

Lobster and Goose Pate

There was a point in my life when I would have been hugging a porcelain rim at the sight of pate. However, I grew the fuck up, put on my big boy pants, and dived into one of the most perfect culinary creation ever created. Pate, or as I like to call it, ‘meat butter’, pairs well with so many cheeses and fruits making it a charcuterie classic. Today I picked up a couple meat butters, and this is what happened:

(Global Foods)

Walking into Global Foods can be quite intimidating for the average shopper. It can feel like walking into your very first sex shop. You’ll keep discovering things you never thought possible. For me, a seasoned foodie, it pretty much is porn. So, just like the guy who frequents his favorite porno palace, I zipped right over to the pate. Goose and lobster lined the shelf and were conveniently merchandised near thinly sliced German pumpernickle. Well played, Global Foods. Well played.

The whole drive home was consumed with what-to-do thoughts pertaining my pretty pate. I hurried into the kitchen, warmed the toaster oven, and sliced some ‘maters and onions. With the pumpernickle toasted, I layed each slice down spreading a generous amount of goose pate on one with the other receiving a light brush of whole Dijon mustard. Finally, the tomatoes and red onions were sandwiched in between the two slices. As I began to bite into this magnificent meat butter sammy, my eyes closed and I was magically trasported across the pond dining with the finest European foodies.

Sound pretentious? Maybe it is, but for less than $3 for each of these items, it sure the FORK isn’t.

Pumpkin Custard (Global Foods)

I just can’t help myself anytime I walk into a grocery store this time a year and walk away from a pumpkin product I’ve never tried before.  Strolling down the frozen food aisle at Global Foods, I spotted a captivating custard loaded with slices of my favorite orange gourd julienned on top.  It didn’t take me long to get it home and see if it was up to snuff.  Here’s the rundown:

S&P out of Thailand makes this interesting custard that is conveniently packed in a plastic, square microwavable tray allowing for a quick and easy meal as the box displays.  I popped this Asian dish into the microwave and followed the directions to heat the dish.  As it nuked, it smelled absolutely divine.  I couldn’t wait to pull off the plastic and as soon as I did, steam escaped carrying the sweet eggy aroma with it directly into my nostrils.  After letting it cool for a minute, I plunged my fork into the gelatinous mass of pumpkin custard, and shoveled the first bite into my mouth.  It was sweet, with a hint of pumpkin without the spices we are used to when eating a dessert of this nature.  The texture was fabulous as it melted and rolled around my tongue before making its descent into my stomach.  I quickly consumed the rest of the custard eyeing my empty plate looking for more.

Forget Dierbergs and Schnucks and start shopping at these local treasures like Global Foods.  This is the type of place you could easily spend hours discovering foods that you never thought existed.  This is my first post on this international grocery store, but I’ll guarantee you that it won’t be the last.  There’s just way too much in there that I have to let you know about.  If you just don’t care about making shopping an adventure, then maybe this isn’t the blog Fork U.

The Waste of Saint Louis (Formerly the Taste)

For the record, I’m aware that these things aren’t really for foodies.  They are consumer driven and cater to every palate imaginable offering up whatever they think you’ll buy.  So, disgusted by what these so-called food festival offer I have to rant.  I want more out of something called the ‘taste’.  However, all I’m exposed to here is a big waste of time.

I entered this event greeted with a host of TUMS representatives handing out their bowl fixing remedies.  Good ploy on their part as you will surely need a handful of these discs for the after meal.  I made my way through the crowd of hungry hipsters and half dressed hoosiers to find myself at the feature food stands to which I came for.  Disappointment coursed through my veins as I saw one after another chain restaurant dotting the landscape.  This is not the taste of saint louis.  Chain restaurants are the taste of every city and town they can make a profit in.  When I come to feast, I want to eat something local and new.  Not the overdone dishes dropped on the menu in every location in which they reside.

Even when I finally found some local dives, about 1/3 of the menus offered either wings or sliders.  Each of the stands offered a little twist on the latter and I found a few inspired dishes of lamb and short rib.  I picked up the short rib slider and truffle oil popcorn as a side.  The short rib was good and the popcorn was drenched in the oil to an inedible point.  I later had to find a stack of napkins to rid myself of the oil, grabbed a beer.  This was, also, a drag and only one distributor had its greedy grasp on the beverage selection.  Where are all of the local micro brews which should undoubtedly be added to a festival such as this?

It wasn’t soon after I polished off my beverage that I began weaving my way towards the exit.  I left behind the sad mix of food and drink and made my way back down to my downtown dwelling.  I was dissatisfied and still my stomach needed some nourishment.  Bailey’s Range was luckily on the path home and I sat down for a boozed up shake to drown my sorrows. 

Forgive Me, For I Have Sinned

It’s official!  I have entered the world of journalism, sinking my teeth directly into the pages of one of Saint Louis’s most underground publications.  It’s almost been a month since I started writing about food and someone is taking a chance on me by allowing to post my opinions about restaurants in the Saint Louis metropolitan area.  It’s a monthly blurb you will see in the back half of the St. Louis Sinner as I take my fork and stab it deep in some of the most interesting dishes offered.

My focus for this article will be on the weird.  Since just about everyone out there writes on safe, palate-friendly dishes, I will aim to set myself apart from the flock of food writers by offering up my indiscriminate taste for international and inspired fare.  Don’t worry about me huffing around expensive joints that only the elite can afford.  I’ll be out scoping for budget friendly stops, that get creative with their culinary fare.

This is a great opportunity and I’m more than excited to dive right in and give you all the seductive selections coming out of kitchens across the Lou.  Join me in my adventure and pick up next month’s Sinner.  I’ll have something really special for you.  In the meantime, follow me here or on twitter @forkustl.  If you don’t — well FORK U!